It has recently dawned on me that many women in my immediate surroundings, 25 years old and older, are dating men who are at LEAST 5 years their junior. Popularly known as the Cougar approach to dating, whereby the woman (Cougar) in the relationship is older than her male (namely, Cub) partner, it is of course not a new phenomenon but wasn’t so popular in everyday life until recent years. Or maybe it just wasn’t as noticeable…
Cougar-Cub History
Historically, ‘Cougar-Cub’ relationships were mostly attributed to Hollywood as the everyday young woman generally preferred her man to be older in order to authenticate their relationship, among other rationales. However far back the science of “Age in Dating” goes, I’m uninterested. For purposes of this blog post, we’ll stick more to the frills and society’s general perceptions of the significance of age in an intimate relationship. Also for purposes of this blog, Cubs are young men aged 20 – 27 years old while the Cougars are aged 25 – 44 years old.
Laws of AGE
Other than to abide by statutory laws and avoid jail time, society puts a lot of importance on the ages of individuals who consent to enter into an intimate relationship. Age is used to denote maturity, financial stability, sexual experience, life experience, emotional stability, decision-making ability… and the list grows exponentially depending on societal groups. Originally coined to refer to women in their 40s and older, the term Cougar is now a generalization for any woman dating a man who is at least 5 years her junior, respective of her own age. Therefore as a woman, you can be considered a Cougar starting anywhere from 25 years old…as we are keeping it legal!
The PROWL
People are somehow convinced that it is the woman who preys upon the cub for a relationship that is probably most beneficial to her, especially in the sexual department. But here’s where they are wrong. In most instances, these same Cubs are actually the ones who made the first move on the Cougar. Yes, these young men are very bold and about their business these days. Protecting their ego doesn’t involve sitting back, wondering and plotting scenarios in their heads, of the magical ways in which they may court a woman deemed above their grade. Contrary to popular belief, they are even at times more sensible than their senior specie. Yes, more sensible and aware and dependable. These Cubs out here are rather adamant of their desires once they lay their eyes upon a Cougar of their liking. Yes, there really is no stopping them from getting exactly what they want.
Requirements & Trade-Offs
For the woman, once she’s hooked to the Cub’s bait, the overall consideration is the trade-off of her desired requirements in a suitable partner and the abilities of her Cub. Whether it boils down to the relationship’s financial stability – will she have to pay his way or does he stand on his own?…Cub’s emotional stability – is he still about playing jealous games?…Cub’s life goals – does he want children and when will he be ready?…Her social acceptance – what will my friends and family think of our union?…Her self-esteem – aren’t there younger women who would better suit his likes and sexual appetite? This list is by no means inclusive, of course…
F*ck the Taboo
Nevertheless, I’m of course the quickest to tell you that wherever you find legal love that suits you, GO FOR IT! Love and loyalty are ROUGH IN THESE STREETS, and if someone’s age is your only hold-back in giving them a fair chance to brighten up your world, you’re doing yourself an injustice. Naturally if you’re a level-headed individual you have to consider personal and common goals, compatibility, and all other things as you would if the age gap was ‘desirable’. However, factor in compromise where its fitting, and ensure the decision you make is for the greater good of YOURSELF, and not to appease your peers or worse, society! #F*ckEm
I welcome your thoughts in the comment section below…
Be Blessed,
Mali
malisworldblog.wordpress.com 